My letter to life

Before I joined family to car pool to Jaden’s baptism this morning, I heard the voice recording of the century’s pop star king, Michael Jackson, and the radio show hosts went on about the world’s loss of a legendary singer, musician, and peacemaker. I couldn’t help but think for a moment that everyone somehow deserves MJ’s level of recognition and honor, that is, we live each day among important and loving friends and family who might not be there from one day to the next.
Jaden’s baptism is a celebration of life. We are celebrating Jaden’s life today especially, and I feel that we are truly celebrating everyone and everything that brought him to this world, from his grandparents and parents to every breath he inhales and exhales and to every person who pinches his cheek or smells the baptismal oil and incense in his hair. Why do babies make us feel so close to purity or truth? They just are…they drool, giggle, laugh, cry and show emotions that we can all express, but as we grow into children, teenagers, and finally adults we tend to protect or mask ourselves. Society makes us believe that displaying our emotions in public are shameful or inappropriate. But, if we open ourselves and allow a tiny beam of emotion to penetrate the outside world, then we would slowly be letting others to share, in truth, our joys and sorrows with us. And, wouldn’t that give people the opportunity to make us laugh when we are down, listen to us when we are lost, or wipe off our drool when we are sick or dying?
Today is also the ten-year anniversary of a friend my high school friends and I lost to sickness. How precious life is, and how is it that we think we have control over our lives from one minute to the next? No, we cannot always be in control. We cannot predict if we will live to 18 years old, 27 years old, or 80 years old. But, we can try to live for today and remind ourselves that we are given the opportunity each day to show our loved ones who we are and how we love. Each day is precious because of life.

Bryn Mawr College and Pai Mei

Yesterday I stepped foot on Bryn Mawr College soil for the first time since I walked out on graduation day in May 2005. I vowed to myself that before coming back to my alma mater (in Latin, “nourishing mother”), I would have to do something with my life. Well, within the past five years I know that at least I lived up to my goals of earning a Master’s and traveling and teaching more, but now I was back to visit the Career Development Office (CDO) with the hope of hearing some words to nourish and encourage me as I embark on Job Hunt Take II Act I. As I turned on Yarrow Street and caught a glimpse of the Bryn Mawr College sign, I was overcome with nostalgia. Bryn Mawr College’s Gothic architecture is quite old, but it never felt that way as a student because as I lived in it, its stones, steps, and walls lived with me. However, having aged five years and not returning even once in that time span, I felt like I had seasoned with the architecture and as I walked on the cobblestone and passed through the main archway, I was walking through my history. I paused in front of Pembroke archway where there was a little door that led to a small spiral staircase into the main dance studio. Modern dance classes with Linda and Mady and jazz and hip hop sessions with Yasmin flashed in my mind. As I walked towards Thomas Great Hall I could almost hear the a cappella songs and orchestral music as well as the poets and writers I used to listen to in that hall. During my CDO meeting, my advisor’s last words were “don’t be too hard on yourself.” And, this evening after fb chatting with a friend, I gave her a recap and she replied that we Mawters always have difficulty easing up on ourselves. When I visited the alumnae office where I worked, I was happy to find that many of my former advisors were still there, enthusiastic and never missing a beat. One of my advisors gave me the name of an alumna of Chinese heritage who I will try to contact soon. Her name sort of reminded me of a character in the film I re-watched last week, Kill Bill Vol. 2. I am now on a mission to find her and speak with her so that she can give me the secrets of the job hunt and the five-point-kill-the-interview technique. I hope that this job search does in fact lead somewhere. Take it from Pai Mei in the movie, “It’s the wood that should fear your hand, not the other way around. No wonder you can’t do it. You acquiesce to defeat before you even begin.” The world is my wood (or the wood is my world), and I am ready to live up to my Asian stereotype and karate strike my way into it!
(Pembroke arch)
(sitting on senior steps at Taylor)
(Thomas Great Hall)

Introducing Baby Jaden!

Jaden, the firstborn of my first cousin, Jenna, was born on May 24, 2010. I missed congratulating Jenna and her family because I was in Bangladesh at the time. I took this picture of him in the car seat. I’m amazed at how a baby changes everything. As Jenna clipped his fingernails while he was asleep in the car seat, I thought about how Jenna’s primary responsibility in this world now was to care for her baby…that’s mindblowing. Jenna always had a love for children and so she’s a natural at motherhood.

Oscar's 1st Birthday!

I went to north Jersey to celebrate the first birthday of my inaanak (godchild)! He can walk now and with each step he get's better. He's ready to grill zucchini, peppers, and sausage for his birthday! I once watched a Russell Peters' clip in which he talked about multiracial babies. My little godchild is French Filipino, and so in Peters' borderline inappropriate but hilarious style, I would give Oscar the first prize for being the cutest Frelipino on earth!

Namesake

Archbishop Angel N. Lagdameo and I share the same birthday and it was special to attend his Mass for Bukas Loob Sa Diyos (Open in Spirit to God) in Rahway, NJ this evening. My middle name Angela also comes from my grandma’s name, Angelina, and the bishop’s. The brother of my father’s late father, I haven’t seen the bishop since my childhood visit to the Philippines. I greeted him with a big hug and, after being instructed by my father, diligently executed “mano po” (taking the hand of an elder and touching the back of the elder’s hand to your forehead; a sign of respect). When I entered the Divine Mercy Parish, I was overwhelmed by the number of Filipinos in attendance. Bishop Lagdameo’s homily on Christ and perseverance was meaningful, and he talked about the “Christian moment” when we are challenged to have faith and push on. At 70 years old, he certainly continues to push on with his youthful charisma, Lagdameo smile, and generous spirit.

Paul Klee (1879-1940)

I visited the Phillips Collection two days ago for the first time. Among the Rothko, van Gogh, Monet, Degas, and Renoir, I found Paul Klee's "Printed Sheet With Picture (Bilderbogen)" (1937) the most personal. I liked the background with short paintbrush strokes and little geometric shapes, suns and stars. And, if I were Buddhist that red circle would be my mandala. I also admired the way he created a three-dimensional feel to the piece with these two-dimensional anthropomorphic creatures. You get a sense of reality floating in a dreamworld, or dreams being grounded in reality. (OK, yes, I saw Inception recently).

"As their talent develops guide your pupils towards Nature into Nature. Make them experience how a bud is born, how a tree grows, how a butterfly unfolds so that they may become just as resourceful, flexible, and determined as great Nature. Seeing is believing--is insight into the workshop of God. There, in Nature's womb, lies the secret of creation." --Paul Klee

W.B.Y.

"The Coming of Wisdom with Time”
Though leaves are many, the root is one;
Through all the lying days of my youth
I swayed my leaves and flowers in the sun;
Now I may wither into the truth.

“He Wishes for The Cloths of Heaven”
Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

Life puzzle

It’s the eve before my 27th birthday. I’m not sure what to write. Maybe positive pieces of the life puzzle, considering this year was full of ups and downs.
1. Lola’s funeral. All my first cousins and I were together for the first time in a long time.
2. Taking care of Oscar, my godchild, for three weeks in DC.
3. This summer marks the ninth summer since I’ve met Paul.
4. Teaching ESL at the Asian University for Women in Bangladesh.
5. Spending the snowmageddon’s of MD and DC with friends.
6. Chillin’ with Mom, Dad, and DD at home in NJ while job hunting.
7. Realizing the value of true friends.
8. Having job interview opportunities.
9. Doing mission work with Mom in the Philippines.
10. Realizing that we only have one chance to live life on earth to the fullest and we need to learn to take care of our own, that is, ourselves and the people we love.
Picture of mural taken in Baltimore, MD.